Her destiny, her sacrifice
by azciel
Summary: The Starlights leave, and Usagi lives out her destiny the way they wanted her to, because they didn't give her any other choice. Short angsty story about Usagi's destiny even though she loves Seiya. A little ooc- the plot bunnies made me do it.


**DISCLAIMER:** Sailor Moon or the characters do not belong to me. It belongs to the fabulous and talented Naoko Takeuchi! The plot and other original characters however, are all mine!

Taking a break from And the Future was not-so Destined to write this one-shot that I've had in my head. The plot bunnies won't let me write for my other story until this one is done. X_x forgive me, my readers!

Enjoy.

* * *

Usagi stood on the roof, unshed tears in her eyes. They had left. Kakyuu and her lights had left. And she was left on Earth; feeling alone.

Her heart broke that she couldn't tell HIM how much she loved him, and that he was more than good enough for her, and that he was all she ever wanted. He made her feel alive. And she loved him for it. But they wouldn't let her tell him. Until the very end, they watched over her.

Twilight crept into the sky, she sighed and finally went home. She was broken.

Life returned to normal, school days rolled by, the girls met up at Crown for gossip and food, homework. But nothing was ever really the same.

Her friends kept telling her how lucky she was to have Mamoru back. That they were so jealous of their love. She just smiled and held her peace. Only her journals knew of her pain, of her heartache, of her disgust.

Mamoru himself didn't see any difference, which showed her more that he didn't care. He kissed her. Told her he loved her without really seeing her. He didn't have to worry about her. They were destined. He went back to America to finish his studies. She still had the ring he had given her from the first time he left. She didn't wear it anymore. When people asked, she said it was because she didn't want to lose it, she was so very clumsy after all.

The outer senshi kept an eye on her. Their very presence reminding her of her 'destiny.' Crystal Tokyo was their future, and they were going to see that it would exist. They would stop by every now and then to hang out with the girls, to keep track of their 'princess' they would not allow her to befriend any new men.

She got quieter. She ate less. She wrote more. And still no one noticed that anything was wrong.

She smiled on the outside, they never noticed the warmth never reaching her eyes, or that she was always looking out towards the sky.

She started singing lessons, and learned how to play the guitar, because she wanted to be reminded of HIM. Music, it seemed, was the only thing that could make her forget her pain, at least for a little while. Secretly she hoped that one day, he would hear her songs and understand that she loved him. She had rewritten their song, Nagareboshi he, she was searching for her Star Knight, hoping one day she would find him again.

Towards the end of high school, Usagi and Minako tried out for an idol competition. Usagi and Minako won with a song that they had composed together. Everyone thought that she was finally growing up and learning responsibility. They didn't know the only reason she tried so hard was to get away from them.

High school graduation. That summer Mamoru came home to marry Usagi. They had a small wedding, she smiled and looked beautiful. She said 'I do' like she was supposed to. No one noticed that the crybaby didn't cry. Not a single tear.

The girls went to college, Minako and Usagi were becoming more and more popular as idols. Minako started to do more modeling gigs and Usagi decided to focus on her music career with an occasional modeling gig with Minako. Rei went to school for business management, Ami was finally taking steps to becoming a doctor, and Makoto was in culinary school. Mamoru went back to America to finish his degree. He was married now, one thing taken care of right. The future was in the right track.

Whenever they got together during those days and asked if it was hard having her husband away from her, she would just say, "I love Mamo-chan," like a broken record, and she would add on with, "Besides, he really wants to finish his degree. It's his dream." All they saw was a young woman trying to be strong and wait for her man to come home from overseas. They thought she was being so selfless, letting Mamoru go to school in a different country without crying about it anymore. What they didn't know was that at 18, Usagi got a tattoo of a shooting star, right above her heart on her breast.

Usagi's heart was dying; she wrote more songs about her angst. Her songs were getting more 'raw'. The public loved it. They saw it as an idol growing into her own and maturing.

The inner senshi only saw that Usagi's popularity was rising, even faster than Minako's. She was always busy with her music and trying to catch up on her homework- the only stipulation that her mother put on her. (If she wanted to be an idol so much, she needed to have idol grades.)

It was easier to fake her cheerfulness now that she only got to see her friends only a few times a week, instead of everyday. She tried to keep her friends distracted with her antics and stories about her fans.

Even Michiru and Haruka were fooled for awhile. But being musicians themselves, they were more attuned to what words meant in music. Neptune and Uranus tried to confront Usagi about her songs, and why she sang them.

"Koneko, your songs are really getting aggressive," Haruka tried to chide her.

Michiru added on, "I can feel pain and loneliness from your music, surely you can't still be thinking of the Starlights."

They expected Usagi to laugh and deny it all, apologizing for being so silly.

Usagi's mask of happiness and stupid joy dropped from her face. The two outer senshi stepped back in shock as they looked into dead blue eyes.

"What do you care? I married Mamo-chan. You're getting the future that you want," Usagi said in a flat voice, she turned, picked up her guitar and walked away from them.

By the time they recovered, she had been long gone. Usagi never gave them the chance to corner her alone again, she didn't need to. Two years later, the Freeze covered Earth and Sailor Moon covered the Earth into a deep sleep that she knew would last 900 years.

~.~

900 years later, Usagi woke up as Neo-Queen Serenity. Using her powers that had been stored for 900 years, she created Crystal Tokyo alone. With everyone still frozen, she was able to finally grieve her broken heart. She cried for days, screaming Seiya's name. This way, she knew no one would be able to tell her that her love was wrong. She wished she could have kept the planet frozen, but she felt her spell from all those years ago start to break.

Neo-Queen Serenity went to fetch her consort. King Endymion was the first person she brought back out from the deep sleep. She transported herself to America where he lay frozen in crystal. Even knowing he wouldn't be able to graduate in time, he still decided to spend all those years studying. She snorted in disgust as she released her spell on him.

"Usako," he said, the crystal melting around him.

"King Endymion," she said regally, "Welcome to the 30th century."

King Endymion made to stand up, but Usagi stopped him with a hand to his chest. He looked up at her curiously. She knew she had one more thing to get over with. She smirked at Mamoru and seductively pushed him back down on his bed. And so, approximately 900 years later, their marriage was finally consummated.

Earth woke up. The planet had been revived and was now led by King Endymion and Neo-Queen Serenity in Crystal Tokyo. Nine months later, Chibiusa was born. The planet celebrated their princess and future queen.

And that was when Usagi stopped caring. Her royal duties were done. She had married Mamoru, she had born the brat, Chibiusa. She was done. No more pretending to be happy, no more fake lies about how much she loved Mamoru. Usagi retreated into her self, letting the king and his subjects rebuild their perfect planet.

Years later, the rebuilding of the planet Earth was done. Everyone had homes, everyone had work, everyone was happy. Except in the palace. During the planet's revival, Neo-Queen Serenity was able to use work as an excuse to avoid everyone. Her friends, her husband, her daughter. With no work to distract them, the senshi finally realized how much their queen had changed.

The inner and outer senshi were having a meeting at Rei's temple that had been rebuilt to resemble the temple they had grown up with; they were discussing the queen.

Haruka and Michiru told the other senshi about their confrontation with Usagi 900-some years ago. "Her eyes were dead," whispered Michiru. "There was no life in them, no spark, no joy. That wasn't our Usagi."

The inners couldn't believe it. Neo-Queen was still Usgai, she was a klutz and a crybaby and was their carefree princess, she always would be. They said that she was probably really stressed out when Neptune and Uranus had spoken with her. But the seed of doubt had been planted.

~.~

Rei, Minako, Motoko, and Ami had all gotten together to see Neo-Queen Serenity. King Endymion, who was continuing his research picked up from his graduate days; had said that she was probably in her sitting room. "I don't see Serenity much these days, maybe you can convince her to enjoy the planet again," was all he said.

The king's words made the girls sick to their stomachs. Since when did Mamoru ever call Usagi, Serenity?! They passed through the halls, a young Chibiusa happily playing with Sailor Saturn. Chibiusa didn't see them, but Sailor Saturn tilted her head towards the queen's hall.

The senshi walked slowly to the queen's sitting room. They heard a guitar strumming in the silence of the hallways, Usagi's voice was soft and sweet carrying agony in the notes. They pushed the slightly ajar door open wide; seeing the queen in yoga pants and a white tank top.

She didn't even look up from her strumming as they came in.

"Usagi," Minako started.

"What can I do for you, minasan?" Usagi said evenly, her voice not showing any emotion. "Is there something wrong?"

Makoto frowned, "We just wanted to stop by and say hello. We don't get to see much of you anymore these days."

Usagi looked up one golden eyebrow raised. "You're kidding right?"

Rei crossed her arms, "What's wrong with you, Usagi?"

"Can you honestly say that you're here 'just to hang out?' Because I'm pretty sure the last time we all 'hung out' was over a century ago," retorted Usagi.

"We just wanted to know how you're doing," Ami said, trying to calm everybody down.

"No really, please, enlighten me," urged Usagi forcefully.

The girls were aghast. They had never seen Usagi this confrontational, at least, not to them. She was treating them like enemies.

"Name one time, one time since we graduated high school that you've come to me just to be by me, not for a study session, not to do battle, just to hang out and relax," she slammed her guitar down, standing at her full height, becoming so emotional, she inadvertently morphed into Neo-Queen Serenity. "Heck, name one time in this century that any of you have come to see me without having an ulterior motive."

The senshi knelt down on one knee in front of their queen. Their minds traveling back to all the times they've seen Usagi since they all graduated high school up until that point.

"Rise," Neo-Queen Serenity commanded. She wanted to look them all the in the eyes.

Her senshi stood up with guilt in their eyes, they couldn't say anything, she was right.

Neo-Queen Serenity turned with disgust, grabbing her guitar on her way out, leaving the girls standing there confused and hurt.

~.~

Makoto was left feeling hurt and confused in the wake of their queen, "What just happened?" she asked her friends. "Where did that even come from?!"

Ami was confused. She didn't like feeling confused, "She technically wasn't wrong, but I don't understand why she was so angry."

"She's still a selfish crybaby," snapped Rei. "How were we supposed to know that she wasn't happy? How could we know if she didn't tell us?!"

Minako remembered seeing the look of hurt in Usagi's eyes before she turned to anger. She had treated them worse than enemies. Usagi had treated them like strangers.

"She was never like this before," lamented Makoto. "A box of cookies and some manga and she was happy. She was happy as an idol."

Rei was being stubborn, "Besides, it's not like she had a lot of time to spare as an idol. what with work and trying to keep her grades up."

Minako turned to glare at Rei, "I was an idol too," she spat out. "We all still hung out and and had time for each other."

"Life just got in the way," Ami said reluctantly, "We knew that the Freeze was coming, and wanted to make the most out of the life we had left."

"But she changed before that," interrupted Minako, remembering when her behavior started to change.

Rei snorted, "Before that was Galactica. It's not like we would have been able to do anything, we were dead."

Makoto went out on a limb, "Maybe not having us there during that whole time was too much for her to handle."

Ami shook her head, "She's lost us before and never had that kind of reaction, and she had the Starlights with her too."

The Starlights, Seiya.

It all made sense to Minako, she gasped, putting it all together. How could they not have seen it. How could SHE not have seen it. Usagi had been begging with all of them about the Starlights not being their enemy. She had begged them to let her see Seiya. She had developed special feelings for Seiya. But all of them told her she needed to be with Mamoru. All of them. They had gone as far as forbidding her to see the Starlight. Several times, and he was the only one that was there for her.

Minako's silence and tears and brought the group to a halt.

"It's all our fault," whispered Minako, tears following down her face. How could she not have known?! She was the representation of the goddess of love!

~.~

The inner and outer senshi were having a meeting to talk about their friend and their queen. Minako had quietly told them all her perspective of the situation. An awkward silence followed.

Hotaru was the only senshi who saw their queen on a daily basis as she was the constant companion of Princess Chibiusa. "I am torn about this situation," she said slowly. "I know that Neo-Queen Serenity loves Chibiusa. I am sure of it, I am glad that we are here now and that I have my best friend, but is it worth the agony the queen is in? I feel like I'm the selfish one; hurting someone I care about for my own gain."

That was definitely a different perspective.

Michiru was especially feeling guilty as it was her and Haruka who had always stood in Usagi's way from being with Seiya. "Was it supposed to be like this?" she asked Setsuna.

Setsuna looked up, surprised. "What do you mean?"

Haruka was getting frustrated and angry in her confusion, "You're the time guardian," she snarled, "We had followed what you said was to be the right path in time. Did you know that this future was going to make our queen miserable?"

Setsuna still didn't quite understand the question, "This is the path that future needed to take for Crystal Tokyo to be created and for small lady to be born. It needed to happen."

Disgust was rising in Minako's heart, "You didn't answer the question Setsuna. Did you, or did you not know that this future was going to make Usagi unhappy?"

Setsuna crossed her arms, getting defensive. She was just doing her job, why were they getting mad at her?! "This is what had to happen," she said crossly, "Time does not take the queen's emotional state into consideration. She had to do these things, like you all had to protect her. It was her destiny. It was all of our destinies."

"Her destiny to be miserable and angry at all of us?" yelled Haruka who was grasping Michiru's hand tightly.

Even Rei couldn't justify what they had done to their best friend.

Tears were in Hotaru's eyes, "Setsuna-mama, how could you?"

It dawned on them all. The future that they had been told was their destiny was brought by sacrificing their friend and princess, the person who had loved them all unconditionally. They thought they were protecting her happiness, but in reality, destroyed her.

~.~

Neo-Queen Serenity could feel a dark power approaching the Earth. The Black Moon was making it's move. It was time to send Chibiusa to the past. It wasn't that she didn't love her daughter. She loved Chibiusa very much, she just hated the circumstances that brought her there, but she wouldn't let that stand in the way of protecting the only happiness she had in her life. She ran to find her daughter.

"Momma!" a young voice sang out to her when she entered her wing of the palace. Chibiusa ran into her mother's arms.

"Small Lady, we need to talk," the queen picked up her daughter and walked to the throne room telling her about what was about to happen.

Chibiusa was still young, but she was smart. She understood that this was an event that needed to happen. "So you want me to go to the past and help Sailor Moon defeat the Black Moon?!" she said excitedly. Chibiusa had grown up hearing stories about Sailor Moon and Neo-Queen Serenity smiled at her daughter.

"Don't be too mean to her okay?" Neo-Queen Serenity laughed, knowing all too well the hard time her past self was about to have. "Take Luna-P with you, okay? May the Silver Crystal watch over you. I'll see you soon, baby."

And with that Neo-Queen Serenity summoned her powers and transported her daughter to the past.

At that moment, all of the senshi ran into the throne room, seeing the flash of light.

Pluto was aghast, "You just sent small lady into the past, didn't you?!" she cried. "You can't do that! Only I can move the fabric of time..."

The queen had sat straight in her throne, raising a hand to stop Pluto's rant. "Do not tell me what I can and cannot do in my own kingdom, Pluto. But to answer your question, yes, I sent small lady to the past. She had Luna-P, you will be able to contact her. It is time. The Black Moon Kingdom is approaching. I do not have the time to argue with any of you right now, either help or get out of my way."

The queen stood up heading towards the front gates of the palace.

Haruka grabbed her arm, "What do you think you're doing?"

Neo-Queen Serenity shook herself off. "I'm giving you all the future that you wanted," she snapped back. "I'm following my destiny. You can't say that I'm not obediently doing what I need do." She ran off.

The senshi were rooted to the spot as if their feet were frozen. Rei cried after her, "Baka! This isn't what we wanted for you," she yelled to an empty hallway.

~.~

Usagi ran out of the palace gates. She had had enough. She couldn't take it anymore, the future be damned. She snorted as she called forth the powers of her Silver Crystal. It was ironic that she still had her powers, looks like the future wasn't everything Pluto had predicted. As long as she was alive, the crystal would never leave her; and she knew the Pink Crystal in Chibiusa was just waiting to bloom.

The Black Moon army hadn't arrived yet. She decided to make things easier for them. Usagi started to encase herself in crystal. It was the only way to get away from everyone for at least a little while, after all, she had a destiny to fulfill. She saw the Black Moon's army approaching and the crystal enveloped her going to sleep along with her. The crystal sleeping also meant the shields around the palace were also being disabled. She no longer cared.

Usagi watched as time unfolded the way Pluto had said it would from inside her crystal tomb. They had all thought that she had sent the Silver Crystal with Chibiusa to the past. She knew that her 20th century self would save their time, to her dismay. It was ironic, if Diamond has asked Neo-Queen Serenity to go with him, she was pretty sure at that point that she would have gone with him. Too bad he went after her past self.

~.~

Sailor Moon woke up Neo-Queen Serenity from her self imposed cocoon. She didn't know why her future self sighed as the last of the crystal melted away from her body or why she looked so sad. She had always thought her future would be bright and so full of love. It was the future that she thought she had wanted.

Neo-Queen Serenity whispered to her past self, "I am so sorry," she wanted to tell Sailor Moon everything so that she had a chance to change her future, but she couldn't. Her jailers were there times two since their past selves were also around. Her heart broke for her past self knowing the pain that she would be going through in the next couple of years. And there was nothing she could do about it, nothing at all.

And then they were gone. Two people couldn't exist at the same time, and they had gone on about how the Silver Crystal couldn't be at the same place at the same time. They just didn't want Neo-Queen Serenity saying anything to her past self. She didn't know why they worried, the future was still the same, so clearly she hadn't said anything.

It was now the time for peace and happily ever afters. Or so they thought.

Events that led them all to that moment hadn't been forgotten by anyone. Pluto for one, thought that everyone would understand why she urged this future to be reached, as she no longer foresaw any enemies or battles in their future. It was all worth Usagi's happiness in her mind.

Watching the queen turn away from her husband and child who stared after her in confusion made the senshi think otherwise. But before they could confront her again, the queen summoned them, one at a time and dealt them orders they could not disobey. She paid them back in the form of duty.

Neo-Queen Serenity sent Pluto back to the gates of time. She had been neglecting her duties and to make sure their time of peace would go uninterrupted, the gates needed to be protected, she was never to leave the gates. Neptune and Uranus were sent back to their planets. It was the duty of the outer senshi to protect their solar system from outside enemies. They were not allowed to contact them again unless there was a dire emergency of apocalyptic proportions. She re-appointed Saturn as Sailor Chibimoon's first guardian. She would never think to separate the two best friends, knowing that Chibiusa's life was better protected for it.

Hotaru was too grateful for not being being sent away to protest much. She promised to keep the unhappy past a secret from Chibiusa.

The inner senshi were ordered to find the Amazoness Quartet in the far away corners of the galaxy.

And so, Usagi was finally given the peace she was looking for. With the Sailor Senshi out of the way, she could focus on training Chibiusa to be the next ruler.

~.~

It was a century later. King Endymion had died. Being an Earthling, he was still mortal and the power of the Silver Crystal could only prolong his life, not make him immortal like Neo-Queen Serenity. Though she no longer loved him, Usagi had respected her king and they had an understanding. He had lived his days out in simple happiness, busying himself with his medical research and an occasional secret lover, with the queen's permission. The queen herself had rebuilt her palace on the moon unbeknownst to anyone and planned on retiring there after Chibiusa's coronation.

The inner senshi had finally found the Amazoness Quartet who were actually in the asteroid belt in their own solar system, and they were ready to take their places as the new queen's protectors. They watched with some jealousy, the open friendship that they had developed with the queen-to-be.

The coronation was also doubling as Chibiusa's wedding to Helios. The event went on without a hitch. The wedding was beautiful, and the people of Earth, now called Elysion were happy for their new rulers.

It was after the celebration that Dowager Queen Serenity bid her farewell to her daughter, her son-in-law and their protectors. She felt it was a little mean to fake her own death, but it would give the new monarchs space from outside their predecessor's shadows.

As she willed the Silver Crystal to make her seem translucent, she said, "Goodbye Queen Lady Serenity. I love you," and Usagi teleported her way to the moon.

For the first time in her life since the battle with Galactica, Usagi felt like she was free. She sat in her garden, looking out beyond her own solar system at a specific star, singing.

~.~

That was how the inner senshi found her, encased in a crystal slumber, in the middle of an ever blooming garden. Up until the end, she wouldn't let them apologize to her. She couldn't forgive them.

Approaching her crystal tomb, they recognized a song emitting from the crystal tomb in Usagi's voice. It was her version of 'Nagareboshi he;' the Three Lights song rewritten to searching for her 'star knight' instead of the 'moonlight princess'. The song was broadcast over and over again from the crystal. The despair of the song struck at the hearts of the senshi.

They decided to stay with her. They stood as sentries guarding her. It was the least that they could do. It was their penance. They prayed to the Silver Crystal to allow them to stay with her until they could atone for what they had done to her, and so they too were placed into an eternal sleep, waiting out the time for when Usagi's song was answered by a specific starlight if he could ever hear it and wake them all up. They would wait until they could beg for her forgiveness.

*end*

* * *

That ended a little differently than I wanted to. Doesn't help that I had to rewrite the second half of the story cuz it didn't save ::sad face::

Hope you enjoyed! I'm thinking of maybe, BIG maybe, writing a sequel. Depends on how many ppl want it, I guess.

R&R!

ja'na


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